My Internet: Mary H.K. Choi
The author and screenwriter adores the whole 6-7 discourse.
Embedded is your essential guide to what’s good on the internet, written by Kate Lindsay and edited by Nick Catucci.
Every other week we quiz a “very online” person for their essential guide to what’s good on the internet.
Today we welcome
Mary finds hyperventilating women telling her to buy jelly bras on TikTok soothing, misses “weird pancake syrup smell on the West side of New York” Twitter, and is grateful for Snapchat because when DJ Khaled got really big on there she was hired to ghostwrite his book. —Nick
EMBEDDED: What’s a recent meme or post that made you laugh?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Honestly, rickroll me a Shen Yun ad and I will laugh so fucking hard every time.
EMBEDDED: Do you tweet? Why?
MARY H.K. CHOI: No. I hate it there. It’s the social media equivalent of fluorescent overhead lighting. I miss “weird pancake syrup smell on the West side of New York” Twitter so hard.
EMBEDDED: Do you post on Bluesky, Threads, or Substack’s Notes? Why?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Threads but with desultory effort and great resentment about the structure. I still don’t understand how it threads. Bluesky feels Canadian or something. Even though I get the impression that it’s lawful good the way Firefox seems the least evil but I don’t actually know.
I probably use substack notes closest to the way I used to tweet which is to say not at all for growth. Mostly to weigh in or shitpost.
EMBEDDED: What do you use Instagram for?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Messaging. Although it’s getting out of hand. There’s too many places for correspondence, especially about plans. I appreciate when people have vanishing text on Instagram though. Total fucking chaos agents.
EMBEDDED: What types of videos do you watch on YouTube?
MARY H.K. CHOI: My algo is ruined because my partner does that thing of bumming a cigarette instead of getting their own so my account thinks I’m deeply invested in German-speaking philosophy interviews and ceramics when all I want are workout videos where the person never speaks and the only sound is royalty-free music and the low beep of a timer. I’m also big on stretching. And, how to cut curtain bangs.
EMBEDDED: Will you miss TikTok if it is eventually banned, and if so, what will you miss most about it?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Yes! And also whatever happens to its core functionality based on this US deal. I’m not even on there enough to have it attuned super specifically to my needs/interests but there’s something about these hyperventilating women telling me to buy jelly bras that I find soothing. And my favorite content hands down is when other old people drag TikTok onto Instagram for me all curated and at its most addicting. That’s the best.
EMBEDDED: Is TikTok a national security threat if it remains under Chinese ownership?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Lol. Do you even America, bro? This is legitimately so low on my list of concerns right now.
EMBEDDED: Where do you tend to get your news?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Hell Gate. Social media and group chat. Newsletters.
EMBEDDED: How do you keep up with the online discourse? How important is it to you to do this?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Depends. I’ll unsubscribe to whole swaths. Sports I will never care about. Very spendy restaurants or high-stakes shopping, same. But I love when people are wonderful stewards of their beats, whose tastes and opinions are consistent. Like,
EMBEDDED: What’s the last strong opinion you had about a story, topic, or controversy online?
MARY H.K. CHOI: That ultra-skinniness is a recession indicator.
EMBEDDED: What are your favorite newsletters?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Oh so many! The Mole Hill. Impeccable vibes and the best community.
EMBEDDED: How do you think Substack has changed media, if at all?
MARY H.K. CHOI: No idea. Yes? Yes because I want it to be yes. I feel so hopeful about it in terms of the general vibe. But then again I’ve been in media for over 20 years and the number of blue-shirted bozos I have followed into battle because they were disrupting news or fixing media are fucking legion and I’m tired. I think the way I want to answer this question is: I LIKE IT.
EMBEDDED: What’s one positive media trend? What’s one negative trend?
MARY H.K. CHOI: I do feel generally closer to people. Like, my parasocial relationships feel emo and warm at the moment. As for negative, probably rampant disordered eating.
EMBEDDED: Do you have a take on the “manosphere”? Do you think personalities like Joe Rogan, Lex Fridman, and Theo Von have shaped young men’s political leanings?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Nope. I mean, sure, but absolutely not in terms of spending any time on a take.
EMBEDDED: Do you believe that the “artificial general intelligence” and “superintelligence” that many AI boosters have warned of actually pose a risk to humanity?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Yes. But I’m not convinced that climate won’t kill us all first.
EMBEDDED: Are smartphones bad for us? Where do you fall on the Jonathan Haidt-Taylor Lorenz divide?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Closer to Lorenz. Though, they’re definitely bad for us. All of us. Mostly I’m sick and tired of centering kids in this discussion. This is a joke.
I do think there will come a day when social media and smartphones will be like smoking cigarettes which is to say that it will only really be meaningfully advertised to the poor and then will get really popular with Dimes Square trust fund kid types.
EMBEDDED: What’s something that you have observed about the online behavior of Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, and/or Boomers?
MARY H.K. CHOI: I love the way Gen Z over-explains everything to each other. Like, how amazing lemon juice is on a salad or that you can actually call a restaurant and have food delivered as a hack so you don’t have to pay app surcharges. It’s like I can get mad that the “viral” Kendall Jenner tank top is literally a boy’s undershirt from Hanes or think it’s pure and astonishing and weirdly cool.
EMBEDDED: How do you find recommendations for what to watch, read, and listen to?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Friends. And newsletters. Plus, New York people are so fucking competitive about staying relevant that if you just follow a few you’re pretty much all set. No one wants to give up, it’s great.
EMBEDDED: Have you had posts go viral? What is that experience like?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Yeah, it was on Twitter. “Can someone fix bacon packaging, this has gone on long enough.”
I don’t even get credit for it anymore. It’s just sucked into the scaffolding of the internet. What’s fascinating is that the wording is always preserved so there must be some inherent stickiness in the way it’s put. It’s also interesting that people would be just like, lol. But now they’re much more liable to actually try and fix it. Like, there are some brands who have a resealable packet.
EMBEDDED: Who’s the coolest person who follows you?
MARY H.K. CHOI: I don’t look anymore but Lana Del Rey used to follow me on Twitter. Also, Azealia Banks.
EMBEDDED: Who’s someone more people should follow?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Plenty of people follow her but I love Katie Notopoulos on any platform. She’s the preeminent shitposter. I am so grateful that she has dedicated her one life on earth to this pursuit. Also, Sam Irby anywhere. And, I’m going to make it weird because we have literally never talked about it but Julieanne Smolinski on Instagram. Hilarious. And great book recommendations. Helen Rosner on Instagram too. Noah Garfinkel; Instagram; also very funny.
EMBEDDED: Which big celebrity has your favorite internet presence, and why?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Greta Lee! I love that she has no Instagram.
Any celebrity where the caption has to be like, @ bla bla @ bla bla #NAMENAME.
What a flex. Also, whenever Rihanna rappels into the chat with no warning. Like, during the Beenie Man Bounty Killer VERZUZ when she told the police to go home. The best.
EMBEDDED: Are you into any podcasts right now? How and when do you usually listen?
MARY H.K. CHOI: I love
EMBEDDED: Have you ever been heavily into Snapchat? Do you miss it?
MARY H.K. CHOI: No, but I liked it for snapping exact locations. Like, dropping a pin but better. Also, I’m grateful for Snapchat because when DJ Khaled got really big on there I was hired to ghostwrite his book.
EMBEDDED: When was the last time you browsed Pinterest? What for?
MARY H.K. CHOI: I was looking at a friend’s shoes.
EMBEDDED: How would you describe Tumblr’s legacy?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Tumblr and Substack vibes-wise feels close.
EMBEDDED: Are you in any groups on Reddit, Discord, Slack, or Facebook? What’s the most useful or entertaining one?
MARY H.K. CHOI: I love neurodivergent reddit. /adhdwomen is a gift.
EMBEDDED: Do you use Slack or Teams for work? What’s the best thing about Slacking with your co-workers? What’s the worst thing?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Nope. And I’m pumped.
EMBEDDED: What is your Wordle starting word?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Poise.
EMBEDDED: Do any of your group chats have a name that you’re willing to share? What’s something that recently inspired debate in the chat?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Fraxel Gang. Visceral fat that cannot be lipo’d.
EMBEDDED: What’s your go-to emoji, and what does it mean to you?
MARY H.K. CHOI: The smiling but shiny-eyed emoji that reminds me of the Selena Gomez cry-smile.
EMBEDDED: Do you text people voice notes? If not, how do you feel about getting them?
MARY H.K. CHOI: LOVE THEM. They’re so private and sweet. I love a mini pod from a friend in their ASMR voice. My only beef is when there’s a ton of AirPods background noise.
EMBEDDED: Do you pay for a music streaming service, and if so, which one? What’s a playlist, song, album, or style of music you’ve listened to a lot lately?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Ugh. Spotify. I hate that I still fuck with them. I’m listening to a lot of ’90s country right now.
EMBEDDED: If you could only keep one streaming service for TV and/or movies, which would it be, and why? What’s a show that you’re really into right now?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Britbox. I finally caved and got it. I love all the DCI procedurals and the costume dramas. All those seasons of Vera.
But the last show I binged was on Netflix. Bon Appétit, Your Majesty. A K-drama about a chef who travels back in time to the Joseun period. It made no sense and I didn’t care at all. The king was so hot.
EMBEDDED: What’s your favorite non-social media app?
The Real Real. But also I hate it.
EMBEDDED: What’s the most basic internet thing that you love?
MARY H.K. CHOI: I love FaceTime video! I love phone calls unprompted with also your face.
EMBEDDED: Is there any content you want but can’t seem to find anywhere online?
MARY H.K. CHOI: I really wish there was a non-Facebook Facebook marketplace.
EMBEDDED: Do you regularly use eBay, Depop, or other shopping platforms? What’s a recent thing you’ve bought or sold?
MARY H.K. CHOI: I use Gem to search through all of them but I purchase rarely. I just like to browse forever. That said, I did get a pair of sillage pants. And sold a Porter-Yoshida backpack on eBay.
EMBEDDED: Is there a site you like for product recommendations? How do you decide, for example, which air filter to buy?
MARY H.K. CHOI: The group chat always. Recommendation sites like the wirecutter include too much data. Like, it always feels like the empirical best but not the one I want if that makes sense. Oh, actually, I do like Secret Strategist but I don’t know if I automatically add-to-cart as much as lurk what other people are doing.
EMBEDDED: Have you recently read an article, book, or social media post about the internet that you’ve found particularly insightful?
MARY H.K. CHOI: This wasn’t recent but I enjoyed Aidan Walker’s unified theory of slop, “Slop Capitalism.” Where the answer to all our social ills seems to be to go outside and hang out with people. I also read anything Byung Chul-han publishes. It’s not directly about the internet so much as the death of community, the commodification of every aspect of our lives and what information and hyper productivity does to us as a society.
EMBEDDED: What’s the last thing that brought you joy online?
MARY H.K. CHOI: Everyone’s pets and babies in Halloween costumes. Bring me all your dachshunds dressed like tacos and all your toddlers as Mira from KPop Demon Hunters. Also, there’s something about my brain that reads this question as, What’s the last thing you bought on the internet that brought you joy? and I pre-ordered Bora Chung’s latest so it just arrived like a thoughtful gift from Past Me to Present Me which is to say, for the love of god, please pre-order my book.
Thanks Mary! Preorder her book, subscribe to newsletter, and follow her on all socials at choitotheworld.
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As a bookseller I am literally HORRIFIED that I am seeing this beautiful cover for the first time!!!!!! Mary!!!!!!!! I love it and you and I can't wait to read. <3 <3 <3
This is a great read, I loved Mary H. K. Choi's essay in The Cut about her late diagnosis of autism. So, it was interesting to get more insight into her online habits and a sense of her as a person.