How to shamelessly monetize your newsletter
Should we sell baby doll tops that say OLIVIA RODRIGO’S OLDER SISTER across the front?
Welcome to Embedded, your essential guide to what’s good on the internet, published Monday through Friday by Kate Lindsay and Nick Catucci. “Get Embedded” on Twitter and Instagram. 🧩
Some housekeeping: I'm on vacation starting tomorrow. For the next week, Kate's posts will all be totally unedited, possibly unhinged first-person hot takes. We're calling it "Embedded (Kate's Version)," and if you haven't already, you might want to drag this email into your Primary tab to make sure you don't miss whatever it is that's coming. But first, a question: Would you buy a $350 sweater hand-embroidered with the phrase GASLIGHT, GATEKEEP, GIRLBOSS? —Nick
PS: Welcome new subscribers ... and apologies! We'll be back to our usual top-quality content in one short week.
Taking a vacation—or, in Kate's case, not taking a vacation—is an interesting concept when you are a free newsletter and no one is getting paid. So while, in all seriousness, we have so much gratitude for all your sign-ups, supportive tweets, and links to our posts (and the steady stream of dopamine hits they deliver), today I want to talk about Monetization. Monetization is one of those words that I once put in air-quotes while sitting in knock-off Aeron chairs in conference rooms, back when I was paid a salary to do such things, and now I just ... use it.
Anyway, there are smart and innovative ways to make money or crowdfund as a media operation, like conferences and events, or even NFTs, as Dirt has just handily proven. And then there's merch. Merch can be great—I would venture to say that the limited run of "Trad Wife" mugs that Kate made and sold through this newsletter were unique and useful. But what if, like some opportunistic Etsy sellers pivoting to peddling QAnon garbage, we just printed a bunch of internet-related nonsense on everyday items and sold them at a mark-up? Would you buy any?
Looking over this list of potential merch conceived in the grifter-y spirit, I realize ... I might want some of it. (The dirtbag leftist bumper sticker, anyway.) But we'll probably just start charging for subscriptions at some point.
Fuzzy pink sweatpants that say INSTAGRAM DUMP across the rear
Baby doll top that says OLIVIA RODRIGO’S OLDER SISTER
T-shirt that says I WENT TO BRYCE HALL'S PANDEMIC PARTY AND ALL I GOT WAS 🦠 across the front
T-shirt with an arrow pointing left that says I'M WITH CHEUGY
Sleeveless t-shirt that say CHAD IN PROGRESS
Sleeveless t-shirt with an arrow pointing down that says NON-FUNGIBLE TOKEN
Helvetica name t-shirt that says ZOE, ALFIE, JOE, LOUISE, TANYA, MARCUS, JIM & CASPAR
Red baseball cap that says MAKE TUMBLR RELEVANT AGAIN
Red baseball cap that says CANCELED BY MY OWN PETARD
Onesie that says BELLA POARCH IS MY ROLE MODEL
Onesie that says BRYCE HALL IS MY ROLE MODEL
Baby bib that says CRYPTO WEALTH ... IS FOR ME?
$350 sweater hand-embroidered by a rich woman with GASLIGHT, GATEKEEP, GIRLBOSS
5-inch hem mesh shorts embroidered with RECOVERING BARSTOOL GUY
Apron that says PROPERTY OF SADDLE RANCH
Pot holders that say HALLE on one and BURNS on the other
Tote bag that has THE WING crossed out and BLM written on it in marker
Coffee mug that says DON'T TALK TO ME UNTIL I'VE HAD MY CHAMBERLAIN COFFEE
Bumper sticker that says MY OTHER CONTRIBUTION TO CLIMATE CHANGE IS A BITCOIN MINE
Bumper sticker that says MILLENNIALS FOR OLIVIA RODRIGO in the style of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's logo
Bumper sticker that says I'M A DIRTBAG LEFTIST ... AND I ["VOTE" CROSSED OUT] LISTEN TO PODCASTS
Laptop sticker that says NFTS INSIDE in the style of the Intel logo
Reporter's notepad that says IF FOUND, RETURN TO TAYLOR LORENZ on the cover
Stationary pad that says FROM THE DESK OF ELIZABETH HOLMES on each sheet
Tear-off calendar with one Afffirmations meme for each day
Star Map of content houses in Los Angeles
Poster with a stock image of a beach captioned, "After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time."